My kids fight over the most meaningless, and also the most bizarre things. This goes way beyond "she touched my toy" or "he's not sharing". These seemingly inconsequential events have each threatened to escalate into World War III in my house, with both kids firmly believing that the other was definitely out to personally offend and / or injure them. I usually don't even register the seemingly mundane incident or comment that has initiated the Total Universe Destruct Sequence until I hear one kid whine the other kid's name...stretching the final vowel sound out into a full ten second long wail. Or I start hearing exclamations of "nuh-UH" followed by increasingly emphatic "YES-HUH!!". And round and round they go until someone ends up in tears. Please tell me mine aren't the only ones who do this. Don't get me wrong - sometimes it's all rainbows and unicorns up in here. But the fun and games screeched to a halt when:
1. Sister peeled the wrapper off of one red crayon.
2. Brother entered the car through the door on the side with Sister's car seat.
3. Sister selected the same snack as Brother, which constitutes "copying", and is therefore "annoying".
4. Brother tossed his 12" square quilted soft lovey through the air ... and it landed near Sister ... and ALMOST hit her.
5. Sister was first to wash her hands for dinner.
6. Brother farted, which is "yucky".
7. Sister wrote a string of letters and said it spelled Star Wars (full disclosure: to mom it looked more like "ObCTEniRl").
8. Brother picked the TV show that Sister was already going to pick.
9. Sister pretended to be asleep when she was really awake.
10. Brother played basketball in the driveway.
11. Sister mowed the cement with her bubble lawnmower.
12. Brother played a 7 in UNO.
13. Sister said the Ewoks appear in Episode IV.
14. Brother picked his yogurt flavor first.
15. Sister proclaimed March 3rd as Christmas Eve.
16. Brother used the scissors with the blue handle.
17. Sister stared at one of Brother's Lego figures and COULD HAVE knocked it down.
18. Brother wouldn't trade one of his fruit snacks for an identical fruit snack from Sister's bag.
19. Sister walked from the car to the back door ahead of Brother.
20. Brother was dropped off at school first (as he was every day of Kindergarten last year, and the first 6 months of 1st grade this year).
21. Sister turned off the TV in the middle of the commercial that comes on AFTER the end of the movie.
22. Brother asked what we were having for dinner.
23. Sister sat on the left end of the couch (next to the two mammoth piles of Legos covering the remaining two cushions).
24. Brother used the yellow crayon.
25. Sister asked for Legos for her birthday.
26. Brother pushed the button to turn on the computer.
27. Sister pushed the button to turn on the TV.
28. Brother said it was bright outside.
29. Sister walked through Brother's room to get to the jack-and-jill bathroom between their rooms.
30. Brother sat in one of the two open seats on either side of mom.
31. Sister rushed through Grace before dinner, instead of speaking perfectly in unison with Brother.
32. Brother ran up the stairs.
33. Sister got a drink with one of four identical cups that are Brother's favorite color.
34. Brother pointed out that Sister had spaghetti sauce on her shirt.
35. Sister said getting dressed for school was a race.
36. Brother played with the Winnie the Pooh ball.
37. Sister talked to Mom.
38. Brother wore white socks on the same day Sister wore white socks.
39. Sister said it was Friday. "No, it's Wednesday." ... "No Friday." ... "NO. Wednesday." ... "HUH-UH - FRIDAY." ... "NOOOOO! WEDNESDAY!! " ... "NOOOOOOO FRRRRRIIIIIIDDDDAAAAYYYY!!!!!" (tears)(wailing)(time outs) (And I'm pretty sure it was Thursday.)
I feel it necessary to prove the existence of the aforementioned rainbows and unicorns. Thus I give you Exhibits A - C taken during happier times: